When you see this, on January 6, 2024, your 19th birthday, I would have written this months before.
You have no idea but I’m returning home a week earlier than I told you.
I asked for your roommate’s Instagram so that I could text her a week before my arrival to figure out when I could surprise you at your apartment. Or, I might make it easier and surprise you during the weekend, when you’re at your family’s home, since you’re practically down the street anyways. Either way, I would take the train for hours from home to you if it meant I could do this for you… for the both of us.
I love that I feel comfortable with you, like non-judgmental siblings lol. I love how we struggle to say “bye”, “talk later”, and “goodnight” because we always have more to talk about – it’s effortless. Our (almost) nightly talks are our wind downs for the day and what we look forward to each passing hour.
As I said on the day that we got into that car accident together, we’re in it together. All of it. Everything you go through, I go through it with you.
That day those boys made me unbelievably uncomfortable, to the point of an overwhelming sense of nausea, I called you and you picked up instantly. You made me feel safe in an instant. Listened to every work I uttered as I reiterated the disgusting things they were saying. Then, you asked if I felt the same when you talk about girls because you would’ve felt uncomfortable in that situation, too. As I said that day, I couldn’t feel uncomfortable with you in that way – I feel as if we are bonding when you tell me you want to hold a girl’s hand, especially in comparison to what these boys were saying. Although, I will say that, I get this wave of protectiveness that washes over me every time you mention a new girl. I always want to make sure that you’re getting what you deserve from a partner, and not anything less. That said, I forever want you to tell me about all the girls that peak your interest (so that I can approve of them).
As I write this, we are planning for you to apply to universities around my area, in British Columbia. I always wished for a solo journey and for all the cool stories that I could tell, where all of which no one could take from me. But, I’m starting to change my mind – it would be pretty cool to say my best friend joined me for the ride. It’s fun imagining us living together, like we did when originally applying for post-secondary in high school. Now, though, you’ve experienced things at your current institution… and you want more. I couldn’t be prouder of you for taking the steps to find more in your life. And, of course, I couldn’t be more excited for the portions of our lives that we may end up building together.
We’ve gone through breakups, deaths, life-changing decisions, and so much more together since we were 9 years old. Ten years later, I wouldn’t dare trade our friendship for the world.
I know you miss me loads – you message and call regularly to stay in touch and to just hear from me. I hope you know that I feel the same, regardless of how rarely we say it.
Dear boy best friend,
Whether I’m down the street, across the country, or on the other side of the world, I’m always a phone call or a text away. I’ll always be here to answer your 3am phone calls (when I’m not insufferably tired, as you know), even if I have to spend hours whispering as to not bother the Homestay family.
Love,
Your Girl Best Friend (Mango Eater)